Dog sayings:

A boy's best friend is his dog

A man's best friend is his dog

A house is not a home without a dog

Dogs are really people with short legs in fur coats

Dogs are people too

Be tuff ! The "dog days" of summer can be wuff !

Chasing your tail gets you nowhere ... 'cept back to where you started

Family and friends welcome. Fleas are not.

Friends Fur-ever

Husband and dog missing ... 25 cents reward for dog

Wife and dog missing ... 25 cents reward for dog

If you want the best seat in the house ... move the dog

Life is just one table scrap after another

My dog's not spoiled ... I'm just well trained !

Recycle bones here

When please doesn't work ... Beg !

Wipe your paws

Wipe your paws or else

Beware of attack puppy

I love dogs

A spoiled rotten dog lives here

Spoiled rotten dogs live here

"In a perfect world, every dog would have a home and every home would have a dog."

"Maybe you've been looking for love in all the wrong places. A dog will treat you better than anyone you'll meet at happy hour. Trust me. I've been to happy hour."

" ... work can wait another 30 minutes. There are more important things to do. Like throwing sticks."

"A dog will quickly turn you into a fool, but who cares? Better your dog than your boss. I'm a fool for my dog and proud of it."

"Dogs are better than children. Even my friends with children say that. As a dog friend of mine likes to say, children are for people who can't have dogs."

"A barking dog never bites."

"Barking up the wrong tree."

"Dog in a manger."

"Let sleeping dogs lie."

"Tail wagging the dog."

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

Basic dogs houserules


NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.

BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark--- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark...

LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.

HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.

HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.

GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.

CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never--- quite--- catch them. It spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry . ...Eat a shoe.